08 February 2009

7:58 tonight radiohead and lil' wayne are going to be under the same roof. someone needs to report on this.

7:59 the announcer just called the jay-t.i.-wayne performance as the greatest hip hop summit of all time.

8:01 this is the first time i have heard this new U2 song. the verses almost remind me of something like r.e.m.'s "it's the end of the world as we know it", and theres this kind of sort of quasi diet-radiohead chorus. yeesh, but it might be ok because here comes whitney houston

8:04 if al green doesn't nab best r&b album it may be a long night

8:06 oh ok i liked dreamgirls so this isn't a total robbery. surprisingly short speech i must say

8:08 remember when the rock had swag?

8:09 ok i understand that keith urban can play guitar, but why exactly is he playing as a part of al green's band? was wayne busy? that last sentence for the most part was just a bad joke, but at the same time wayne did get 8 nominations so what better way of honoring that then by letting him guest on every single performance of the evening. a duet with kid rock seems inevitable, but just imagine one with taylor swift. the two people responsible for the two biggest albums of the year. the prospect is just brimming with potential. i'm going to apologize now but i am rooting for wayne tonight. i hope he wins as much as humanly possible, actually even more since he is a "martain" but seriously i am rooting for him especially since when the grammys were in miami they left him in miami which led to him rapping while we were asleep and in our jammies. so he's had all this time to prepare it should probably be rewarded. also the way things are going we may need real proof that tha carter III was indeed a huge deal in 2008.

8:23 how much longer are the guys in coldplay going to continue wearing those jackets? not complaining or anything it just seems like they have been wearing them for awhile now. but at the same time i guess it doesn't bother jay-z so it shouldn't bother anyone else. he's "addicted to fresh" so he would know

8:27 country songs about drinking are the best kind of country song. i'm starting to wonder what the over/under is going to be for appearances by people who were on american idol. already two in the first 30 minutes. conservatively speaking, i'll put it at 6.

8:34 ruth be told i don't really listen to country music so i don't know if this was upset or anything, but i'm fairly certain i just saw samuel l. jackson sitting next to paul mccartney

8:37 so coldplay snares song of the year honors, but at least they recognized the silliness of their jackets.

8:44 kid rock kid rock kid rock. i was just getting ready to type that "amen" song wasn't so bad, and that the flashing images in the background were a nice touch. but then that "all summer long" began. i'm probably a terrible person but i have a bit of a problem when warren zevon songs are jacked and used in that kind of manner. and to couple it with skynrd is about as awesome as falling over and breaking your pelvis.

8:51 'm starting to think that coldplay may clean up tonight. i'm sure that is exciting for them, but is it also exciting for joe satriani and that band from brooklyn? i mean technically its there song too right?

8:54 aylor swift and miley cyrus. again i'm a terrible person but i find it at least slightly amusing that miley cyrus is singing a song about being 15 when anyone that reads perez can attest that she doesn't do that, like ever. also, the whole sitting on stools thing isn't really the best look. and that was also a pretty weak high five thing there at the end. probably would have been better to go with a terrorist fist jab.

8:58 even madonna is losing now. talk about tough sledding. also, add one more to the american idol contestant appearance tally.

9:08 stevie wonder is performing with the jonas brothers? ok. stevie wonder using an auto-tune? kinda rad. maybe he can do a whole album with it and then he can guest on a slew of hip hop songs singing hooks. if thats not a possibility then the auto-tune should probably go ahead and be put out of commission.

9:13 i wonder what stevie wonder's reaction was when informed that he would be performing with the jonai? all hating aside it does seem like those boys tried darn hard on that performance. also the last thing i want is to be accused of cyberbullying so only nice things.

9:15 that being said, i'm fairly certain no one cares that blink 182 is getting back together

9:16 coldplay wins again. i mean i didn't think the raconteurs would win, and although i kind of hate that "sex on fire" song despite previous allegiance to kings of leon but i thought that maybe they could pull it off. its ok though. the announcer keeps promising a performance by katy perry.

9:21 that was a somewhat underwhelming performance of "i kissed a girl". although since i'm a terrible person i guess i can point out that the jonai looked slighltly flustered when the song ended and all the cameras were on them

9:28 over the summer "american boy" was kind of the song. it was a summer jam. so was "i kissed a girl" but now that its february and the songs were performed back to back the edge goes to "american boy". it had just a little bit more pep. that and this time around it featured an appearance by kanye's mullet.

9:34 so just when i think morgan freeman wearing one glove was random he goes on to call kenny chesney a poet and a good friend. random. really random. but just goes to show you that morgan freeman's voice has the amazing ability to make everything sound interesting and believable.

9:41 this marks the first time all night where i was at least somewhat rooting for coldplay. paper planes came out two years ago so thats understandable. adele gave a nice lil speech a couple minutes ago so that would have been fine too. but robert plant, really? i like to think i'm speaking for the masses when i say that the only songs robert plant should be singing are the ones about black magic and witches and sex. you know the ones accompanied by guitar and crashing drums. perhaps i am wrong though.

9:48 all eggs officially in the basket for this m.i.a. performance

9:49 i wrote a preposterously long paper awhile back and part it required me to explain swagger so i broke down "s.l.u". it was like "well kanye compares himself to christopher columbus in asserting his swag" and "jay-z points out that you can pay for college but you can't buy class, and in doing so points out that swagger is something that doesn't have a price tag" and so on and so on. clearly this performance is very serious because that is the highest i have seen wayne wear his pants like ever. (side note: not too sure about the corn row look he's going with tonight"

9:54 i wonder what chris martin was whispering right after that performance ended? i don't suppose he got to see it like i just did where it was in black and white and then changed to color all of the sudden. i kind of liked that by the way. T.I. seemed super pumped to be performing but i guess that has a lot to do with where he is headed next. the sound seemed a little off but i think that performance was still about as good as could be expected. i remember back when that song leaked how pumped about it I was when i read about how it sampled m.i.a. and it featured wayne, kanye, and jay-z. then i heard it and thought it was garbage. then after a few more listens i didn't totally hate it and i began to get excited when it came on the radio. and then i broke it down for a ridiculous paper. and now i just heard it during the 51st grammys.

9:59 paul mccartney was a beatle and dave grohl was in nirvana so by that math their duet was rad

10:04 maybe john mayer isn't getting a real grammy. maybe its just a pencil sharpner painted gold

10:07 that was a flight of the conchords reference and in no way was meant to diss john mayer. i just happened to think of it as he won for best male pop vocal. also now i am much more perplexed by this pairing of sugarland and adele. what just because they both won that means they are on the stage at the same time. i are the grammys starting to run out of celebrities to come out and announce the performers. this may be a problem cause there is at least another hour to go. "stay" is a nice song, but i'm more of a drinking, shooting, screwing country listener. "chasing pavements" is nice as well, but i'm starting to think the reason i like it is because it has the word pavement in the title

10:19 so gwenyth paltrow and chris martin don't sit down and do interviews together, but they attend the same social functions.

10:20 for awhile i used to say that radiohead was the world's best band in the sense that if there was ever a galaxy wide battle of the bands then earth should send radiohead to represent and it probably wouldn't hurt if they did indeed perform "15 step". they probably wouldn't need the USC marching band, but for this its a nice touch.

10:23 the announcer is promising a performance by lil' wayne and an all star cast. oh who could it be?

10:25 samuel l. jackson comes out to the theme music from "shaft". awesome. and he said "damn right"

10:30 yay for t.i., seriously. i've enjoyed his new direction. he seems to be really into this grammy celebration. the song was also fairly dope. i mean he's not dancing as skillfully as m.i.a. or thom yorke but there aren't many that do.

10:35 the graybeard man said "yes we can" entirely too many times

10:39 not sure its possible to really hate on a motown celebration even if one of the guys on stage is responsible for a god awful track about blaming behavior on alcohol

10:45 sweet caroline. bah bah bah.

there is something about neil diamond's voice that is kind of cool. kind of cool like how dr. manhattan from the watchmen is cool. don't wrap your head around it trying to figure it out but rather just accept it.

10:51 further proof that neil diamond is rad: jay-z standing up and clapping with a big ole smile on his face

10:53 did i miss something or was rob asheton not recognized as one of the deceased. if thats the case then its obviously a travesty, and would also seem to confirm that radiohead will not be winning album of the year. if there not gonna tip their hat for a member of the stooges then how they are going to know that radiohead is awesome?

10:56 again why keith urban? although it was still pretty rad to see john lee hooker on stage

11:02 the guy that played lt. dan is introducing wayne?

11:03 whoever came up with the idea for wayne to perform "tie my hands" was definitely not on the 'urp. he actually sounded coherent and such, and after the last few months that is quite an impressive feat.

11:08 i saw the dirty dozen brass band once and they walked all through the crowd then too. and now not too complain but was that the vaunted all-star celebration.

11:10 i didn't even realize that jay's american gangster was up rap album of the year. kind of a shame cause that album was tight, but i think its been abundantly clear that this one was wayne's for sure. but with this happening i can't help but think this cements the fact that wayne will not win album of the year. begrudgingly i can concede that robert plant and allison krauss are going probably going to win.

11:30 so plant and krauss won. why i'm still not entirely sure based on the live performance. but whatever seeings how i was 100% wrong on everything. shit i was even wrong on how many american idol contestants appearances there would be

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