14 May 2009
Let me just start off by saying that I think Twitter is stupid. And kind of lame. What is Twitter exactly? Its microblogging. It is similar to blogging but a user is always confined to expressing themselves in 160 characters or less which also makes it similar to text messaging but it is different from text messaging because with Twitter a user is broadcasting their menial musings to an entire network of other like-minded fellows who deem it necessary to inform everyone of their every single waking movement. They say that bloggers take jobs away from journalists, but now twats are taking jobs away from bloggers. (You see what I did there? If you are a Twitter user, you don't make a "twit", but rather you would use it in the past tense hence making the user a "twat".) Yesterday, Kanye took to his blog to go off on a rant about how much he despises Twitter, and how's he angry about people creating accounts in his name on there. This post has nothing to do with this. I have a far greater concern. Not only is Twitter slowly making people dumber by steering them away from looking for actual news and instead sending them on quests to find out what kind of macaroni & cheese some random porn star had for dinner last night, but it is also creating "beefs". Rappers beef with one another, and they go at one another in the form of diss tracks on mixtapes and by making thinly-veiled threats on radio shows but now they just twat through their beef. And rappers aren't the only ones doing it. A few months back, Perez Hilton and Lily Allen were exchanging snarky twats with one another. But this is different. This has gone too far. Joe Budden and Method Man are currently going at it. Vibe is doing this whole Best Rapper Alive thing, where they are taking 135 rappers and dispersing them out into 4 brackets and then people are encouraged to vote in order to systematically determine who indeed is the Best Rapper Alive. While voting does not start until next week the campaigning has already begun. See, Joe Budden and Method Man are in the same bracket but Meth is a #9 seed while Joey is the #32 seed. The other #9 seeds in this tourney include Redman, Ludacris, and MC Lyte while the other #32 seeds are Plies, Chubb Rock, and a play-winner who is yet to be determined. Understandably so, Joe Budden is pissed. In his mind, he is a better rapper then Meth which is a completely fair and rational conclusion to come up with. Method Man for his part begs to differ, which again is completely reasonable and justified stance to take. Joe Budden wants to settle this affair on the streets with a freestyle battle, and while Meth concedes that Joe Budden is certainly a skilled lyricist and also points out that he, himself, the Method Man is not known for battle rapping abilities. Nonetheless, Meth welcomes the challenge. While this is all compelling drama for hip hop since the 50 Cent vs. Rick Ross beef fizzled out when Ross tried to go after Eminem but that beef has not gotten off the ground since Eminem is currently trying to beef with Nick Cannon. So basically, this Joe vs. Meth beef should have the streets ablaze in intrigue, and every day there should be solo diss tracks coming from both of them and then there should be group diss tracks where Meth gets Redman and Ghostface and Raekwon and Joe responds by bringing in Joell Ortiz, Crooked I, and Royce Da 5'9. It should be an entire summer of Wu Tang affiliates vs. Slaughterhouse, but it is not going to happen. In fact nothing close to this is going to happen, and its all going to because of this cursed Twitter. Joe is going to keep complaining via Twitter, and then Wu Tang stans are going to start harassing Joe via Twitter which is going to swell to the point where Joe calls Meth out via Twitter and then Meth responds via Twitter and then maybe if we are really lucky Joe will release a diss song about Meth, via Twitter of course. This beef has the potential to be as big as the classic Jay vs. Nas beef from yesteryear, and thats really saying something since Joe goes after someone different just about every other week. But it is not going to happen. Twitter is going end up squashing this beef, and thats just kind of sad. Heres hoping that I'm wrong on this which is somewhat possible seeings how the Capitals lost last night and are now out of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.