Anyway, I don't mean to prattle on about personal matters. VICE magazine had a 20th anniversary party in New York on Halloween night. I know this because it was all over the internets this morning. Jesus Lizard and Bad Brains headlined, and reports say that all the booze was free. Titus Andronicus played as well, and their frontman had a shitty time. In a fantastically titled post, "The VICE Halloween Party is Decadent and Depraved", Patrick Stickles explains how he was mistreated by security at the party, and he talks about how there were lots of people, presumably several bros, who were decked out in American Apparel and doing mountains of drugs. He paints a pretty vivid picture of debauchery, and he's from Jersey so if he's saying something is foul, then it must be pretty bad. I've tried to see Titus Andronicus on at least four different occasions in the last year, and something has gone awry every time. Reading the re-cap, I'm just glad I didn't do anything foolish like trek up to NY for this to see them because that may not have turned out so well, and the traveling thought crossed my mind at least once. Other reports of the night seem to suggest that the party wasn't so bad, if you showed up early enough and didn't get kicked out at any point. Apparently, Stickles went as Ulysses S. Grant in leggings for Halloween, and security wouldn't let him in because he was using an American flag as part of his costume. The logic that would prevent him from getting in is kind of puzzling, especially since he is in one of the bands that is playing the show.
Reading about this, I was struck by several things. First off, security seems pretty lame. That would be the big thing, first and foremost. Then, I read another article that was talking about how it cost $250,000 to throw this party. That seems expensive, but on the site where I read this, someone left a comment saying that it wasn't really that much when you think about it. They said Jesus Lizard and Bad Brains probably got about $25,000 each to play the gig, and when you add that in with the free booze and security and other miscellaneous shit then the final number is probably around $250K. This got me to thinking. If I were throwing a party, who would I book? While I don't necessarily regret anything about college, there are two things I would have done differently. I would have started writing for the paper earlier, because in this day and age one year's worth of clips isn't enough to secure a job, and secondly I would have worked at the radio station longer than three weeks. If I had done the latter, then it seems plausible that a show could have been staged. When you work at a radio station, you get to host concerts, right? Could this possibly apply to fledgling blogs?
The type of party would definitely dictate the performers. If it were my birthday, and the party was truly about celebrating what I dig, then Deerhunter would get the call. They're essentially my favorite band, that is together at the moment and still releasing new material. That's an easy one, but what if I just wanted to put on a show and let everyone have a sweaty, good time. For that, No Age is the first band that pops into my head. They're rad, and a show by them would definitely kick ass. Titus Andronicus also stands out for a show like this, but that might have to do more with the fact that I haven't seen them live before and if booked them and they came then I would definitely get to see it. It would pretty cool, though. I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to get a band like Pavement to play anything because I can't shake the feeling that they wouldn't be into it. It took this long, just to get some reunion shows, so it's not like they would play my fictional gig because even in a fantasy world, I'm an unpublished writer with a poorly maintained blog. That being said, if I were hosting an outdoor festival type show in my fantasy world I would definitely want Dinosaur Jr to play. That would rule. My math is atrocious, but if Jesus Lizard fetches $25K for a show then Dino probably commands something similar. Now, I just need to go to Parks and Recreation and get the necessary permits so that I can put this in motion. Just need to do that, and, oh, you know, get a job and some credibility.