01 February 2011

This honestly happened

Sitting on a slab of concrete outside a pricey grocery store on a grim Sunday morning. The night before spent stuck in snow drifts and running from club bouncers, who truly wrestled with feelings of inadequacy but would never admit it and certainly not to two louts who maintained a reputation for being poor tippers and who stole drinks when given the opportunity. Only one cup of coffee in the middle and a singular pair of sunglasses, but plenty of smokes to get through the day.
An older gent with horn-rimmed frames and a thick wool coat ambles by, and stops suddenly. He fixes his gaze on one, and then the other. No one else stops, but this cat is frozen. "You know what happens if you keep smoking those cigarettes?," he asked with a stern look that seemed to suggest he may have been a doctor in a past life and that a lecture was in order.
"Big trouble," one of us said bracing for the conversation we didn't want to have.
"Cancer," said the other, trying to appease this man who was taking time out of his day to speak with the miscreants of his town.
"No!," the man bellowed for the whole block to hear. "They make your dick bigger!," and as quickly as he appeared he left waltzing down the street.

1 comment:

  1. There is just no scientific proof that I can find that can disprove this statement.