23 April 2011

State of Affairs

I had a nightmare last night that this space had been taken away from me, and replaced with smut. All the writing from the last two plus years had been removed, and was lost forever. There was a subplot where I had lost my brother in the city, but what really troubled me was the idea of this disappearing. Admittedly, I've been negligent. Not by choice, but rather work had become an entity that was consuming everything and sucking my very essence out of me. For the last six months, my days have been filled with speaking an obsolete vernacular and being told that I'm not particularly bright. Additionally, I was informed over and over again that I did not instill confidence in the people I spoke with and my superiors said I was too quiet. That all comes to an end on Monday, so it's officially time to move forward.
Yesterday, on the train I tried writing. I got one line down. "The DJ was drunk, and the bartender bored." Everything may have to be retooled. Perhaps there should only be short stories here, or maybe I should go back to trying and cover hip hop. My preference still lies with rock and roll, but all it makes me want to do is smoke cigarettes and drink draft beer. Maybe I should just log on every day, and write whatever lurid things pop into my head. There's still no solid internet connection, but there are ways around that.
Needless to say, I've being doing a lot of thinking. I just wanted to swing by, and let all six of you know that I'm still here. Everything is fine. I'm not just not entirely certain of the next move. I might end up listening to the Shins at some point tonight.

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